ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I love having hate sex.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
