Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize