so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
