He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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