i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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