Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
