This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize