I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
