I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
