i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
