who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i think i have herpe
just one?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
