what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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