More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
