He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
