I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
