Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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