Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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