I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Boobs speak an international language.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
