This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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