i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
