You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
