This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
