Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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