Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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