i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
