She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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