Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So squirting runs in the family.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
