i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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