i jhust puked up my retainher.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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