but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
