Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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