Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Randomize
