Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
