Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
