i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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