how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize