Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
