birth control should be required to get into college
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
