One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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