Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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