the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
