it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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