if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I want to fling myself into the sun
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
