mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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