I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
