I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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