69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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