3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
