Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
