I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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