I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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