that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
