The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you had me at cake vodka
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
