the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
