Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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