Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
