im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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