Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
