Welp...herpes.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
