Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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